I'm sitting here on a wonderfully snowy day at the little shop on the corner looking out at quilt of white all over the world. Piping through the speakers right now is the song Sunday Kind Of Love. There are 100's of love songs out there. In fact just about all lyrics ever written are about some sort of love. First love, lost love, heartbreak love, passionate love, simple love, God's love, friendship love, mistreated love etc etc. It begs the question why are we as humans so caught up on the idea of love? I cannot answer that right now, my mind is not educated in that way. But maybe someone knows the answer and I bet it's a good one. But I think that we were created by love to love and so we look for someone to love. Our mate if you will. Often we get it wrong we live in an imperfect world so it is only to be expected that we will not know perfect love.
What is love?Love is a lot of things. But love is just love. It is not a fairy tale, it is not a knight who comes to save his fair maiden from the mouth of a dragon. It just is. It makes me wonder if prehistoric man searched for love or do you think they were much more practicle on the matter, I need wife to service my hormones and cook me food and raise children. I would like to think they knew what love was and as they grew to appreciate their wife's cooking and baby raising etc that they somehow, even if it didn't start out that way, eventually loved in their own way. Maybe I'm just a romantic.
Girls in love have it a bit worse than boys. Boys can do something about it, girls just have to wait for the boy to make his move. And let me tell you waiting is no fun, agonizing is more like it. And what if you mess up? What if you are not good at the whole flirting thing and you miss read signs and you inadvertantly turn them down? What then? Jane Austen in her novels always allowed for mistakes by both the man and the woman. Each of them were allowed to fail miserably but they always were allowed to communicate their feelings and explain themselves in the end. I would like to hope that whoever is out there for me will not expect movie magic when we meet, go out etc. But will expect me to fall on my face (figuratively speaking of course) and will allow me to explain myself.
-- Posted From My iPhone so please excuse the typos!
4 comments:
your words tell it all like it is. and i hope the same for you......
I don't think women are necessarily relegated to the waiting position.
Two thoughts on this:
1. Women don't have to wait for men to proposition. We are just as capable, albeit frequently not as intuitively inclined, of approaching men. Whether or not we're comfortable with that is probably a combination of personality and experience.
2. I don't want to seem pedantic about this, but I object to the concept of waiting. I know you don't mean it in the crazy sense that some women our age do, of course.
A quirky analogy might apply... when my mother's mother died, my mom was naturally distraught. She soon realized that one of the aspects of the loss she felt was that she had all of this love still for her mother that she couldn't express to her mother. She began to actively pray that God would bring people to her on whom she could just pour that love and nurture. People started appearing in her life, and it still wasn't enough. She kept on praying and God kept supplying... her church congregations, new work friends in need of counsel, old friends lost for years, students, eventually even a discussion group of 2000+ people that she led in a variety of projects and devotionals.
The absence of a spouse to whom we can gift our love does not mean that we are without outlets. If we ask God to give us alternative outlets, then He will. We can find a different area of fulfillment by serving Him in other areas of life. One of the benefits of singledom is the freedom to focus extra energies into a broader variety of others' needs.
I don't think any of that replaces or trivializes one's desire for romantic fulfillment, but it tempers that desire and strengthens us as individuals.
On another note, re: prehistoric man, etc. etc. ... I don't think we give men enough credit in such things. We tend to paint men as simple creatures; they are simple, in some areas, but so are we. Men, like women, have extraordinary depths of feeling and appreciation. Some men are selfish pigs, and some women are ridiculous hags. Balance, balances.
Thanks for writing such a thought-provoking note!
Lorien - i love your mind.
yay! :)
I was going to say that we need to guzzle much coffee together when I return to KC, but... how does one say that to someone who owns a coffeeshop? It just seems redundant!
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