it is christmas

Have you ever noticed that all the holiday movies that come out every year always have people discovering the true meaning of Christmas, giving, sharing, loving, remembering. But it seems to be a lesson that is never truly taught. Why is it that we here, at least the people I run into in this little Midwestern town, still are missing the meaning of this time of year. I am constantly amazed at the human race's ability to turn something beautiful and wonderful into something controversial. Think about it. Love, we are constantly trying to find it in all the wrong places, and in fact to so much extent that many people it does not exist ( and I am not talking about romantic love, which that word could be considered used incorrectly when two perfect strangers "make love"). Children, little blessings, or so they should be. You have the one child rule in China, abortions all over the world, abused and battered (that of course could tie into love). How about religion, oh this is a good one. Think about all the wars fought on behalf of someone's god. Think about the mental anguish caused by someone attempting to be god-like (or what they assume is god-like). Let alone the people who are driven away from God because of asinine people taking authority and abusing it. Now lets take Christmas, because that is the season we are in, Christmas when first celebrated was a remarkable event. Christians would gather in secret and celebrate the fact that someone cared enough about them to come and save them. You see the whole point in being is that Christ, Jesus was already dead on the cross the very second he was conceived in Mary's womb. So you see Easter was already sworn in stone right there at that point. Now fast forward 2000 years and here we have it, a bunch of people buying gifts that will not be remember the following year. People spending money that they don't have. People complaining about their family members, Begrudging the time they get to spend with one another. Its sad really. In church yesterday Father's sermon was about love. True honest to goodness love. And he quoted from St Ignatius and he said he could just see 3 beings of God looking down on the earth and asking what would it take to teach their creation how to Love. I wish that people did know how to love. I wish I knew how.

Just some thoughts.

You know what is fantastic? Discovering why you are who you are. Thanking the people who helped mold you into an adult, forgiving those who held you back, laughing at the experiences that helped make you stronger, crying at the experiences that made you tougher. Accepting the pain, moving through it to find joy. Its wonderful. It has made me so grateful for the life that I have led. I am so thankful for my parents, while I complained about them being too strict growing up I now know that with out their guidance and without excepting that guidance I would seriously be a messed up soul. And the books that I read, I am so grateful good literature was instilled in me, I am grateful my Mom got me hooked on books. I am grateful for my parents instilling a good work ethic in me. I am thankful that we were poor growing up. I am thankful my parents let me be involved with horses. I am thankful for my sisters teaching me things simply by being a part of the family. I am thankful for my "friends" who used me and trampled on me so that I could know true friendship. I am grateful for Michael M for showing me how to live with a disease and still be one of the happiest people I knew. For Thomas F for showing me that you should always do what you truly love to do because you don't know how long you will have the chance. I am grateful for the cement truck driver for teaching me that life can be pushed off the tracks and that the effort to get it back on is hard but worth it in the end. I am grateful for the people at the "church" who successfully scarred my family and whose repercussions we and other families are still dealing with because with out them I wouldn't have learned about grace. Do you know those books Choose Your Own Adventure? I love playing that game with my life. I like to look back at some event that changed the course I was on and see what would not have happened if I had gone the other way. I always focus on the positive things because bad always comes with the good and if you think that no bad things would have happened while on the other adventure you are stupid. Like, if we hadn't moved to KC, I never would have met my best friends, I wouldn't own the horses that I do, I wouldn't have my dog, I wouldn't have my little house, I wouldn't have my scooter, I wouldn't have my own business. Just some thoughts.

I have decided I hate Blog Titles

Can you believe it is almost Christmas time?? I am so exceptionally excited, i love Christmas. I feel sorry for those who have been burned by the commercialization of the holiday and who cannot enjoy it anymore. I also feel sorry for the people who are caught up in that commercialization and enjoy for the wrong reasons. Yes don't get me wrong it is wonderful to give and to get but the true spirit of Christmas is not that. Funny that the first present of Christmas was the ultimate sacrifice, the giving of a life for a world that did not love that life or understand it and still doesn't. My roomy and I were talking a week or so ago and discussing the fact that so few people just live love and that if everyone in the world was to focus on that one thing there would be no wars, blood feuds, acts of terrorism or the like. But still we focus on our differences and are consistently at odds with each other. Throughout history we can see the repetitive nature of the human race. We think that we have advanced, and we have as far as technology goes but our true nature unfortunately has not advanced as much as I would have hoped it had. I find myself being as judgmental as the next and must ask for the worlds forgiveness. The fact is it is a struggle to really be love that is why it took God himself to show us what that meant. At this time of year we tend to focus on the down-trodden the poor and hopefully attempt to show charity to our fellows but a majority of us (at least American's and i would imagine a good chunk of the affluent world) focus on the presents the money spent and the remarkable amount of food consumed. The fact is the only reason the general population is at all giving in because of St. Nick, he lived love and he showed the the modern world what Christ meant. We can all be Christlike this year by following his example of giving unconditionally (note I did not say uncontrollably) and find the true meaning of Christmas is love.