It is the trouble with the world

You know what the trouble is? That NO ONE just loves. What is love? Love is patient, love is kind, love forgives, love keeps loving. Why is it that people who believe in love are so judgmental? Love is not judgmental. If people just focused on forgiveness, compassion, grace, kindness, wouldn't this world change? We would have no war in the Gaza Strip, we would have no ferguson, mo, we would have no child soldiers of darfur. Stop splitting hairs, stop hating, stop juduging just love. L O V E. 

Is it a fear of life?

My mother once told me I would always find a reason not to be happy. Which of course angered me seeing as that I am a very happy person. But as I grow older I find that she may in fact be right. Do I fall into the stereotype of looking for greener pastures on every side? Do I look for misfortune or does misfortune befall me? I was unhappy at home and with my measly job so I moved across country and LOVED the beach but was so discontented with the life I was leading there. I got a promotion at work and I LOVE my job but I disagree with company ethics and practice. So now I yearn for my measly job that allowed more freedom than the bureaucratic life I lead now. Do I in fact search for these misgivings?

 Tonight as Christmas nears and the day to be thoughtful asnd thankful has passed I have found myself pondering about my life. Do I like where I am? Who I am? The answer is (right or wrong) sadly no. 

So what is holding me back from living the life of my dreams? Fear. Plain and simple.  Fear that I will not be happy once I have it. Fear that I want something I couldn't ever possibly grasp. Fear that I will never be happy. So should I just learn to shut up and settle?

  See the great thing about Mom is that she taught us to dream. Reach for unattainable, unimaginable things. It is a blessing....and a curse. (Monk, ma for you ;-)) As I quest for the perfect life, am I holding myself back from enjoying this one? Or should I keep striving and searching for my spot in this vast world? 

Happy be-lated birthday Mommy!

It took me a bit to sort out what I wanted to say but I think I've figured it out. 

When I go out with my mother no one ever guesses her age. Yes, I hope I got that part of the genetic gene pool but it's not just genes she takes incredible care of her skin, her routine and products are precise and followed out to the T. (No this isn't a sales pitch.) My point is her loyalty and dedication are impressive. I hope I learned that from my mother :-). Another thing I hope my mother has taught me is bravery. At this moment my 64 year old mother has traveled to Israel. And she went kicking and screaming, but she went. And she's enjoying herself despite riots and demonstrations. It's true she didn't want to go because of fear but once she's  there in the face of it, she never shows fear. I hope I learned to be able to stare something I am most afraid of in the face and find away to enjoy the life around me. I love my mother and am so proud to be able to call her that. 

Mom- obviously this year is bringing new expierences and I hope they create magical memories. I love you! 

it is your heart

 An employee was talking about a girl he had a crush on a few weeks ago and how they were just friends but she's been hinting at something more....but she has a boyfriend. He said he wanted to see if it could turn in his favor. I told him to be careful and to have more respect for himself than that. He asked why I thought sex was bad? That's not what I said I said respect yourself, meaning don't put yourself in a situation that could lead to heartache, loss of friend, hurting someone else etc. He said "oh". Yesterday he told me he had sex with that girl, "I don't know how I feel about it but I'm afraid I made a bad choice." 

When did it become ok to allow your heart to be broken? When did it become ok to break someone's heart? It is our right to protect out heart, and it is our duty to protect others' hearts. We shouldn't feel guilty for standing up for ourselves, defending our honor or simply walking away. We also shouldn't take advantage of someone's weakness, exploit kindness, or trick someone into loving us. We only get one heart, the more it breaks the harder it is for us to open up to truly good things that may come our way. My father once told me a sin is an action that hurts us or someone else. Stop hurting each other, stop hurting yourself.