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Thursday, November 14, 2013

it is

Oh the blogger in me couldn't hide forever I guess. I moved across the country. Did you know that? Crazy isn't it. Especially crazy since I didn't know anything about what I was doing. Though someone once told me being impulsive was one of my greatest flaws. Though my father told me your greatest flaw is also your greatest strength. And he's right. In fact both of them were right. In my impulse I found myself quite alone. I felt alone in KC but I had no idea what actual complete loneliness was like. I probably don't fully understand it in fact. But I have found something out. When you are alone you have a choice. You can either A) surround yourself with meaningless people to keep you from realizing you're alone B) be depressed and wallow C) look yourself in the mirror and come to grips with who you really are. I actually did all of the above in the past 8 months. In the end of this journey, though in truth we all know it's far from over, I have found myself. More of myself than I bargained for. I've faced my demons and found my light. It's exciting I've gotta say. But I still haven't found a partner to fight beside through the madness and beauty of this world. I am thinking about the past loves that I had. The ones I thought were going to turn into forever. And I'm realizing one thing. They all felt overwhelming. Is that right? Not that it was a bad overwhelming but in each moment I felt that love for each man it washed over me like a tsunami. 
So tonight that is the question I am pondering is romantic love overwhelming?