it is men

I spent the last 6+ hours at a bar with a very very good friend of mine. We had the most interesting conversation with one of the bartenders, who upon seeing us walk into the restaurant said to his fellows "did you see that ginger hottie?" And decided to join us after his shift.
He told us he said this and said that is why he was still here to talk to her, he then said he was sure it happened all the time to her but she just wasn't aware. Here comes the first tidbit of what I have learned about men, they all assume that the woman they are currently attracted to is surely a goddess and all men in the world are surely attracted to her as well. I have been told by men who have found me attractive that A) I just don't notice what the guys around me are doing to try to gain my attention B) that I am surely hit on all the time C) they cannot fathom why I am single because I am so beautiful surely some one would have snatched me up. All of these things are flattering but only partially true. :-)

In our conversation with this bartender he began to open up and tell us his sad tale. His wife gained full custody of their child and took him to Hawaii and did not let the son contact his father until 3 judges ordered her to do so. He was explaining all the work, time, lawyers, private investigators etc that he has put into this so that for the first time in 2 years last week he was able to talk to his son on the phone. He was very stalwart about all of this his voice tone was very level he was hurt but not bitter, he was upset but not outraged. This conversation reminded me of a new friend I am happy to be getting to know. He also has a nasty ex who does whatever she can to upset his interaction with his children. He also does not sound bitter or raged. When we chat about this he is very level, though the pain is evident. This brings me to the second tidbit I have learned about men. I have really always known this existed, my father is a fine example but it is nice to see it in different places to know that the "white stag" might be a rarity but really does exist, and that is that men are very strong. My friend and I were chatting on the drive home on how this bartender and my new friend both had a very quiet strength. They both work like dogs to support what they care for and what they know the are responsible for. They are not moping around crying poor me playing their little violins, which if you knew half of their stories you would agree with me is saying that they had every right to do so, instead they go to work pay the bills and try to make life a little better the next day even if they are just going to hit that same wall in the morning, they do it anyway. My father worked many a job in my lifetime often more than one at a time I admire him for his courage as I admire the afore mentioned two. I do not believe I would have that strength.


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