Is it a fear of life?

My mother once told me I would always find a reason not to be happy. Which of course angered me seeing as that I am a very happy person. But as I grow older I find that she may in fact be right. Do I fall into the stereotype of looking for greener pastures on every side? Do I look for misfortune or does misfortune befall me? I was unhappy at home and with my measly job so I moved across country and LOVED the beach but was so discontented with the life I was leading there. I got a promotion at work and I LOVE my job but I disagree with company ethics and practice. So now I yearn for my measly job that allowed more freedom than the bureaucratic life I lead now. Do I in fact search for these misgivings?

 Tonight as Christmas nears and the day to be thoughtful asnd thankful has passed I have found myself pondering about my life. Do I like where I am? Who I am? The answer is (right or wrong) sadly no. 

So what is holding me back from living the life of my dreams? Fear. Plain and simple.  Fear that I will not be happy once I have it. Fear that I want something I couldn't ever possibly grasp. Fear that I will never be happy. So should I just learn to shut up and settle?

  See the great thing about Mom is that she taught us to dream. Reach for unattainable, unimaginable things. It is a blessing....and a curse. (Monk, ma for you ;-)) As I quest for the perfect life, am I holding myself back from enjoying this one? Or should I keep striving and searching for my spot in this vast world?