it is family

i am sitting here in my parents house, it is father's day 2010. My Ma is playing with her iphone, Dad is grilling and drinking some beer, jazz music is playing in the background. Summer heat outside is unbearable, but the beer is cold and the AC is on, thank God for modern convenience. The only thing interrupting this serenity is my mothers little psychotic puppy attempting to lick my fingers as I type. As this day has unfolded I have found myself thinking about my family. Family is exceptionally important to me. And I have quite the family. We are a dysfunctional, crazy, emotional mess but we love each other truly madly deeply. Often I think of how lucky I am to have such a family as this.

My Dad, the quiet leader that has lived through war, loved completely, lived thoroughly and is so kind and caring to so many. A quote of his that has followed him is "it is better to be loving than to be right." He lives with a sense of purpose when life seems to be without. He leads people with out trying.

My Ma, loud crazy Italian sums her up well. She is the constant encourager. She was the coolest Mom as a kid too, always driving us here or there, worrying about us making sure we had as many opportunities as we could possibly have, always cooking, feeding caring. She is opinionated that is for sure, but she accepts people in situations that might surprise you. And at the end of the day you know she always love you.

There are three of us girls, all as different as sisters could possibly be. We are all a little crazy. Both of my sisters carry a little perfectionist streak which they have never forced on me, thank goodness because I am about a messy as they come. We grew up in seemingly different worlds, we all think differently, process differently, hold to different beliefs.

My older sister, techno nerd and stargate fanatic, lives in Atlanta, attempting to find a new life. She is like a distant arm of the family Wills. I wish she was closer to us in spirit. It is a huge regret in my life that she is not. I love her dearly and I am not sure she always knows it. I feel as though sometimes I am missing out on a friend. I don't know how to change it. I'm afraid I may have lost my chance.

My kid sister, music junkie and just a nerd in general, has embarked to Colorado to find her passion and drive that has gotten muddled along the way. I am so proud of her, I don't think she realizes just how fantastic she is. We are so close. There is a line by EE Cummings that says "I hold your heart, I hold it in my heart." It has never been a truer statement between her and I.

And then there is me, the middle sister. I am not the glue that sticks the family together as many middle children are cursed to be, I'm afraid if that was up to me we would all be doomed. I'm just going through life nothing special just my life. But I think it is a good one, a good part o the goodness is because of the family around me. They bring laughter, joy, tears, drama, etc into my life. They support me, they love me, they care and help me as I hope I do them. There is a good ol' jazz classic that says "Some like the high road, I'll take the low road, free from all care and strife, give me the simple life." Yeah that pretty much sums me up.

Anyways all in all I love my family and am so grateful for them. (Ha! What a pathetic ending that was! )