it is a girl thing

I have a friend who is very much so tied up in her femininity. The thing is though I think she is really tied up on her sense of fashion or as she believes the lack there of. This friend feels that one of our mutual acquaintances is not feminine because she doesn't do up her hair, wear a bunch of make-up etc etc. In defense of this person she does do all those things just not often. I have a very close friend of mine who does her hair every morning, wears all the right clothes etc etc. But does that make her more feminine than the one who does it only on occasion? Merriam-Webster states, that feminine is a characteristic of or appropriate or unique to women (ie; feminine beauty or a feminine perspective). Femininity is the quality or nature of the female sex. While effeminate is having feminine qualities untypical of a man : not manly in appearance or manner. So with all that it sounds to me that my friend is really trying to show outward effeminacy, though someone has told her that is what it is to be feminine. This friend of mine considers me to be feminine, when I never wear makeup can often be found slumming in sweats and am pretty comfortable around dirt. So what is it that makes me feminine? Is it my emotional state of being? My love of flip flops and high heels? One of my dearest friends is a blonde vixen. She doesn't consider herself feminine at all, yet she has men falling over themselves while around her. Are there as many definitions of feminine as there are women in the world? Are fashion models more feminine than Midwest house wives? Is outward appearance the only thing that makes you feminine or not? Is it internal? Genetic? Emotional? Hormonal? Do you realize the wars that are being fought right now are because of the different views of femininity? Is it that important?