it is good

I am sitting in front of a lake surrounded by pine trees. The butterflies dance amongst the sun rays. The mountain stream rushes past my ear as to fill my soul with her power. The birds sing in the air as the fish splash the water, both celebrating their life and freedom in this magnificent home. The faint sound of a fellow camper playing his guitar floats up from behind me. The ambient chords make no song I know, just the bringing the knowledge of a person adding his gift to what lays around me. It is no wonder God looked at his creation and said it is good. 

it is hiking solo

There is something great about hiking solo. At the beginning of the hike my mind starts out full of junk, this person, that person, this work thing, did I say that wrong, what do I think about what random subject etc. At some point I get tired, my legs, my lungs or whatever else I worked hard the day before starts to be sore and I have to start pushing myself to go forward. While I'm pushing and pursuing the end of the trail, while my body is focusing on deep breaths and steady steps my mind turns off. I don't realize this has happened until I stop for a drink, as I look around my resting spot I start to absorb my surroundings. I begin to soak in the nature, the creativity and the power of it all. It gives me the push to continue on. And at some point in my silent mind and my tired body I start to feel powerful. That power courses through my veins. It starts chanting in my head good and beautiful things about you. I start to feel the love the universe has for me. I start to believe the good things it says about me. I become the powerful and strong and beautiful woman I was intended to be. My weight doesn't matter, my hair doesn't matter, my social awkwardness doesn't matter. I feel wild, fierce and BEAUTIFUL. By the time I reach my destination I am recharged and refueled. When I head for home my feet are lighter. My smile is brighter and my heart is full of happiness. 

it is love itself

A few days ago while I was meditating by the river I was struck with an amazing thought. It was a continuation of the gratitude that filled my heart the day before and it manifested in an epiphical sort of way. 

To start, I meditate in a unique way, I believe meditation and prayer are the most personal things you can do and so I believe it should express your individuality and personality. Since I started this slow journey of meditation and contemplation several years ago I have found the focus on one thing to bring me the most peace/joy/enlightenment or whatever other intention I am seeking, I focus on creation. I delve into nature in all her beauty and wonderment, I focus on her strength and power, and most importantly I focus on my smallness. I also focus on her energy, I believe that if you were to sum up the perfect energy that oozes from nature it would be love. I believe that God designed this nature to reflect his love for this world and to share his love with us. 

So while I was sitting and listening to the roar of the rapid, the call of the birds and as the sun kissed my face I focused on those things. And while I was contemplating the wonderment of it all it struck me, not only was this world made up of love it was in fact love itself. 

In my mind love is the biggest word is little humans can use. Love engulfs lots of other words. Love is like the big umbrella giving us all the goodness in the world. Without love we have no peace, forgiveness, joy, kindness. I'm not talking about romantic love, I'm not staying if your single you have none of these things. I'm talking about what love actually is. Imagine a world without any love. Think about what we would be missing. How dark the world would actually be if we never knew what love is? 

As I'm sitting there realizing that this world is love itself, not just a reflection, not just made up of love but the river IS love, the trees ARE  love, the bird's song IS  love how great a realization that I am not surrounded by an image of love but love itself. 

That next day I drove to CO to witness my little sister's wedding. I was surrounded by family and friends and new family and friends. Joy and happiness were everywhere. Two eccentric and beautiful people had found their other puzzle piece and joined many people from many parts of the world to celebrate their pleasure. I wish more of the world could have seen the smiling faces and heard the laughter and felt the joyous love that came from each guest. It truly was a remarkable experience and I couldn't be happier for my sister and her husband. 

After the wedding, before we all started to head our different ways my side of the family and several friends from both sides gathered at our rent house and continued the celebration. The most amazing thing was that this joy from all day carried into the night igniting new friendships and rekindling old. All the while as I sat on the deck and enjoyed the company of so many around me I just kept thinking, thank you for surrounding me with love, thank you for filling up my cup with true and unmuddled love. For you see if nature is infact love so must we be also. We are not just a vessel for love but we ourselves are love itself.