There are very few absolutes, laws of physics aside, in this world. This past week provided proof if I needed convincing.
Last week my little shop shut for good. Sadly the man who purchased it went bankrupt and in a matter of hours almost six years of love pain happiness stress tears and joy was over. I was working at the restaurant the other day and a customer from the coffee shop was there. She asked me what happened. Told me how much she missed me there. I began to cry talking about it being gone (here I am in a busy restaurant surrounded by strangers and I'm tearing up- I am such a shameless sap!) As I was talking to her though I realized that none of my new friends in my life would get to see something that was such an instrumental part in making me who I am. They wouldn't see the people who I loved they wouldn't see me in that element ever. I am quite confident that nothing like the HB will ever exist in my life again. I don't see how it could. That whole separate world that revolved around eccentric people and good coffee. That place that I gave my lifeblood to. That little shop in so many ways was an outward physical manifestation of me. Now there is a whole new set of my life where that will be obscure.
Today I am on a plane flying to Canada for a dear friends wedding. Life moving changing growing. This weekend 3 years ago a dear acquaintance of mine died on an early morning flight. I remembered this as my flight was heading down the runway. Siting towards the back of the plane looking at the rows of seats full of people thinking of how a flight similar to this one ended up being a fiery coffin for all those people. I know I've mused about the shortness of life before but whenever I am reminded of the uncertainty it makes me think - is my life where I want it? If I were to die today here on this plane did I tell the people I care about that I do? Will my responsibilities be taken care of? Did I live my life with fear and trepidation or did I take risks and chances and did I remember to live this life?
There is never a good time for change. There is never a good time for conflict. Nor is there a perfect time to die. Change happens and the world spins. Conflict arises and we must handle it. Death is inevitable.
There are good constants too. Love will always be in the world. New life will always spring up. And peace comes after conflict.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, August 29, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
It is love
Well it has been a wee bit since I've been on here. I've been running all over the place and haven't had time to catch up with my thoughts. I still love both jobs. Sometimes I don't honestly like the gym. I get sooooo bored. And I still don't feel 100% comfortable. However my boss today gave me a hug when I left and told me he loved me. So I guess there is some element of fitting in ;-). The restaurant? I adore. I love all the people and personalities and all the different chemistries between everyone.
Ok on to the meat of the blog.
Twice this week I called God a failure. Huh. Both of these incidences in which I stated he failed were involving love. Growing up in the circle I did one wasn't ever allowed to challenge God. If you did you were a heretic and most certainly on a slippery path to H-E double hockey sticks.
My first declaration of holy failure came when a girl at work was talking about her girlfriends family being judgmental towards her gay lifestyle. I went on a rant about how Christians walk around feeling entitled and judgmental and yadda yadda yadda. I said something to the effect of "didn't they read the bible? All God says is to love people whether they are black white purple gay straight mean nice stupid or genius!" realizing of course that 10 years ago I would've gel very similar feelings towards the "poor lost soul". It was at this point I realized God actually failed. Here he sent himself to earth and tell , nay beg people to love each other and here we are 2000 years later walking around judging hating discriminating condemning.
A couple of days ago I was talking to a new close friend of mine and he was expressing exasperation in trying to keep everyone happy and in turn was not finding or allowing happiness for himself. My response again was that God himself couldn't make all the people in the world happy so how are we supposed to.
At the end of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" the author states that God's final message to his creation was "sorry for all the mistakes." Often in humor we find a bit of truth. (and yes I know you can now all argue that we were the ones that fell and made the world imperfect and whatehaveyou).
I find it funny how life changes you. Reading through my old blogs seeing where I came from how I've changed humorous at time most definitely. And yes I realize I might be wrong in my thinking now and 5 years from now I may laugh at myself for stating such facts. Such is life I suppose.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Ok on to the meat of the blog.
Twice this week I called God a failure. Huh. Both of these incidences in which I stated he failed were involving love. Growing up in the circle I did one wasn't ever allowed to challenge God. If you did you were a heretic and most certainly on a slippery path to H-E double hockey sticks.
My first declaration of holy failure came when a girl at work was talking about her girlfriends family being judgmental towards her gay lifestyle. I went on a rant about how Christians walk around feeling entitled and judgmental and yadda yadda yadda. I said something to the effect of "didn't they read the bible? All God says is to love people whether they are black white purple gay straight mean nice stupid or genius!" realizing of course that 10 years ago I would've gel very similar feelings towards the "poor lost soul". It was at this point I realized God actually failed. Here he sent himself to earth and tell , nay beg people to love each other and here we are 2000 years later walking around judging hating discriminating condemning.
A couple of days ago I was talking to a new close friend of mine and he was expressing exasperation in trying to keep everyone happy and in turn was not finding or allowing happiness for himself. My response again was that God himself couldn't make all the people in the world happy so how are we supposed to.
At the end of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" the author states that God's final message to his creation was "sorry for all the mistakes." Often in humor we find a bit of truth. (and yes I know you can now all argue that we were the ones that fell and made the world imperfect and whatehaveyou).
I find it funny how life changes you. Reading through my old blogs seeing where I came from how I've changed humorous at time most definitely. And yes I realize I might be wrong in my thinking now and 5 years from now I may laugh at myself for stating such facts. Such is life I suppose.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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