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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

it is three shots of whisky

Tonight I am watching an incredibly enjoyable film "Midnight in Paris" and I had a few shots of whisky. I then saw my new shoes. Which prompted me to put on a party dress. And I had a little midnight walk in Paris myself.



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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

it is a puppy!

Meet Daisy! She is the newest friend in the house. She was neglected or abused but she's coming around. Today is the first day she played with the toy on her own. And she even hung out with all the people at the party the other day. She loves the dog park and loves her new friends Nakima and Rajah. And she is quite the cuddle bug. :-)






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it is a magical shop

There is a saying that all good things must come to an end. And this story is no exception.
Once upon a time in a land very much like this in a time not too long ago there was a little shop. And this shop was magical. In this shop was a girl. A girl who was afraid of the world because she knew very little of it. This girl ran the shop. She did not know that the shop contained magic. She had no idea how powerful a thing was bestowed on her. So she went to the shop every day and served the customers. She made them smile. She met many kind people in the shop. Many people who had good hearts and shared lots of love, but she was still afraid of the world. One day a boy walked in. When the little shop girl saw the boy her heart stopped and she almost fell over. She had never met someone who had done that to her before, she didn’t know what to do, she was afraid. The boy started coming into the shop quite regularly. He would try to talk to the little shop girl but she was so shy she could barely speak. So he stopped coming. The girl hated herself for not taking a chance but she was still too afraid of the world to change anything about it. Over the years the girl became braver and braver. New friends taught her about life and about the world. As she became brave in the little shop she was able to become brave outside the shop and venture out into the world. Then one day she did the bravest thing imaginable, she invited the boy to come back to the shop. And he came. The girl fell in love with the boy. A whole new world opened up to her. She danced, she sang, she was happy and free and brave. Her bravery and happiness brought more people into the shop. And more and more people found bravery, and love, and happiness in the little shop. So many people loved the magical shop that the shop oozed out love onto all those who entered. People found answers, comfort, joy, friendship. So much good came from a very little shop it seemed impossible. But then one day the boy broke the girl’s heart. And all that was good about the magical little shop seemed dark and lonely. The girl tried, she tried so hard to be brave. She tried so hard to be happy but silence brought tears, music brought tears, night brought tears and so did the mornings. The girl’s friends rallied around her to help her with the little shop. The shop had worked magic on them as well and they didn’t want to lose it. Nor did they want to lose her. Sadly in the end the darkness overwhelmed her and she had to leave the shop, and the magic left with her. But the girl who was once afraid of the world was afraid no more. She may have had her heart broken but she had found love, she may have had to leave the shop but she had the courage to do so, and she may have to face many more scary and dark things ahead but the magic had worked and she knew she could get through. You see, good things do come to an end. And it is sad when they do. However it does not mean more good things won’t follow. And when those good things end, more good will follow.
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I was driving home last night and Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas is You came on the radio, I promptly broke out in tears. For the past 5 years I spent Christmas in my little shop. And every year I put that song on our Christmas playlist. And at night when the shop was empty (or almost so) I would turn the song up as loud as I could and dance like a mad woman until I ended in giggles on the sofa. I remember one night in particular I did this with a few customers. One of whom had never danced like a madwoman before in her life but had always wanted to. You see there is something quite freeing about dancing like no one is watching. After the song was over she was glowing and giggling and thanked me over and over for making her let loose and be crazy for that moment in time. Truth is there were 1,000’s of those moments that took place in the store. 100’s of them were for me myself. There are countless memories I have of mini breakthroughs, cherished moments, laughing on the floor funny moments, friendships and so much more. While the shop was open and running yes I knew it was special. But I was so bogged down with the daily muck I often didn’t get to see it that way. After my heart was broken I saw the shop solely as a burden. I couldn’t see the magic happening around me no matter how hard I looked. I hated the fact that I was so affected by one man. But a year plus after everything happened I can look back and see just how wonderful even the heartache was. Because without the shop I wouldn’t have stretched myself the way I did, I wouldn’t have met Adam, I wouldn’t have fallen in love, I wouldn’t have had my heart broken, and I wouldn’t know I could survive that sort of impossible pain. I still would have been afraid of men, of people, of friendships, of the world. I wouldn’t have built this confidence I have in myself, I wouldn’t have pushed myself to those extremes. There is not a single bit of me that ever wants to do it again but there is also not a single bit of me that regrets any of it.