An Active Mind is Never Bored

but sometimes it might think of things too hard.
A friend of mine from high school is in town and every time he stops by my shop I am not there, a rare occurrence in and of itself but to happen twice is astronomically improbable. So while I was wishing I had been able to catch up, since he is not on facebook, i have NO idea why, I haven't talked with him since he moved out of state. This then made me think of my other friends from high school and chatting with them on facebook and realizing I don't have much in common with them. At all, I never really have. I then I started thinking about who I would call my closest friends and only 1 of them share my main interest. The K's and I share a very close friendship, yet when you boil down to what I hold most important among hobbies and passions, they don't share that bond with me. Of course we have things in common, theater, music, a great love for wine and Italian food, but our conversations mainly revolve around politics, theology, faith, economy, and world issues. Now all of those things I love to talk about but really my passion is in the equine section and only my friend Kel, yet a different K, shares that with me. OK so this has boiled down to the question, why is it that when someone on paper has as much in common with me as the other, they are both nice people, I have never held a grudge against one, have never been in some blow-up fight with either, do i love talking with one while the other I have to struggle to keep a topic going? Is it the fact that the K's (all three) are so brilliant that there is such a wealth of information to glean from there is never nothing to say? You know what is odd though? I want to be the others friends so badly but it seems that I am an out cast and have never been into their circle. Maybe I never will. I call all these people my friends but really I just have 5 friends, the rest are just acquaintances that i chat too on occasion. And that is another thing, it seems so one sided, I have to make all the moves to initiate a conversation or a friendship and they never fully engage. Maybe that is why? But why don't they engage? Am I repulsive, too young, too ignorant? Are we just acquaintances for acquaintance sake? But why do I feel shafted each time they do something with a lot of the people I know that I am not invited too but they proceed to talk about it while I am around, like i could have come if I had known it was going on but nobody bothered to tell me but now for some reason this loser is here and we might as well talk about all the fun we had last night with out her. Oh my heavens I am still that insecure, scared, shy, little nobody, lost and confused in the big crowd of the popular kids in high school. You know somebody told me the other day I was one of the popular kids in high school, i was like what? i barely fit in with them. And she said no, you were pretty near the center. Was I? Then why do i feel like this??? And why do i still feel disconnected? And why am i still trying? if i have 5 really good friends who love and accept me why do i feel like i still need to be included? why do i feel like the bad guy when i am not, i blame myself for them not inviting me to parties, movies, etc. What the blazes is wrong with my psyche that needs to be accepted by one and all!! I need to fix this! Blast it all!! See an active mind over analyzes the snot out of things.

I've been trying for 2 weeks...

...and I am finally getting to sit and chat.
Life is absolutely amazing isn't it?? I am always finding some fascinating thing popping up during my day. Sometimes terribly fascinating sometimes wonderfully so. Hope has been a topic of discussion this week in my head. Someone asked me when it would be improper to hope. I was a bit taken aback by this question and have proceeded to ponder it for a few days. I have come to the conclusion that is always good to hope. I have heard the term false-hope and I am afraid I don't truly understand, or believe it. False hope I was told is defined as something that is impossible to ever achieve. I guess if I hoped and hoped that I would one day fly it could be conceived as false hope, for as a human I cannot fly, however I could learn to fly a plane, and many a person was believed to be insane by trying to fly but their hopes were achieved and now I can hope to fly and I can. This question was posed to me in context of relationships, and I ask should we ever give up hope on another human being, to change, to love or to be loved? I think not. I do believe that however what that person does is entirely up to them and if say someone is abusive we can hope for them to change, however we do not have to be their punching bag.
I think hope is one of the greatest gifts that our Creator has given us. Next to love of course. In a day and age where most questions can be answered by technology and science there are some that cannot. One, our (human beings) ability to love, and the other is our ability to hope for something better. Animals live in the here and now, they have no future, they have no past, they don't feel the passage of time the same way we do. However you can have a very loyal dog that you love, but can you ever say that dog loves you back? Certainly the dog will want to please so it will do as you ask, it will protect it's pack leader to the death, it will provide warmth and comfort, but it does it do these things out of love? No. And thankfully so. You see we humans can think about the outcome of our actions, if we take the blame for someones actions we know what the consequences will be and we still decide to do so, if a dog attacks someone or something that is hurting their master they do it out of duty, out of instinct. And the same goes for hope. If a dog or any animal is in a situation that is wretched it cannot sit and think about the wonderful world over the rainbow that it could one day reach if it tried very hard. It would be content in its situation and carry out the same instinctual loyal duties. While we as humans can dream, imagine and grasp at faint strings of hope. When I posed to this person a question about what he would consider false hope he stated hoping for things that are impossible. But are we not told that with God all things are possible? Certainly, he created the universe. And wouldn't it be very egotistical of us to say we know if something is not possible ever? If we currently only use 10% of our brains imagine what could be done with 11% or 15%? So why should we state that something is not possible, I could agree that many things are not probable, like time travel or say being bitten by a radioactive spider that will do something other than kill you. But would you say those things are impossible? Some would yes, but again I state the fact that we know so little of our world let alone the universe. And so I state that nothing is completely impossible and that we should always hope, it is a gift and we should use it. And if you are hoping to travel through time by jumping off a bridge you should be prepared to die. Because in this moment, that is impossible but you can always hope for the future.

New Baby!

My friend has a beautiful Connemarra Stallion, and his first baby just hit the ground! Isn't he gorgeous!!

i have no idea what to title this post

Have you ever met someone that you can't imagine ever being a child? I guess someone who has no sense of humor or never seems to smile or be happy. But even then you think, wow they must have had a messed up childhood to turn out that way. But really there is this guy who comes into my shop and he not very mature, still act like a kid, but you see its his voice that gets me. I mean he sounds like an old gangster from New York, but looks like a round and chubby kid in an adults body. And then I started to think of him as a round and chubby kid in a kids body and then I thought of his voice and that made me giggle. Picture it, a kid, a chubby blonde kid, walking around talking like the godfather, "hey-you, whatchadoin'" how yous guys?" ken i ghet sum wahtah ouht herh?" scratchy and heavily accented, It makes me giggle, and I just can't picture him ever being a kid. :-)

SUNSHINE!!!

I just thought I would let everyone know that where I am sitting the sun is shining and it is a perfect 55 degrees outside!

Snowy Pictures

Here are my boys out in the snow. Annie and I took these around Christmas I guess. The new additions are the boys' pasture buddies, I don't know there real names so we call them Merry and Pippin. Annie didn't like them at first but i think they grew on her a bit :-) They are so cute! and they are at the perfect hight to hug their little heads. I have a wee bit too much fun with the mini's i think :-) And as you can see Marky and I are bonding quite nicely :-) He's my pal now, but he still poops too much. And of course Stitchy LOVES Annie, he is SO happy when he sees her. I am planning on teaching him some tricks, so that he can do nothing else he can entertain :-) Bodyguard, poor thing, grumpy as always, most of his photos came out with a wretched look on his face and he is not very photogenic as it is so many were deleted. His best photos always were taken over fences. He has fabulous form while he is jumping. Well I guess I'm just rambling on. Enjoy the photos.

Thank God for Espresso and Chocolate

I would not have made it through the day is that little goat hadn't started dancing all those years ago. And I am so grateful that God had created caffeine in the first place :-). In all my exhaustion I am thrilled that these past two days have gone so well. However in the midst of the good chaos there were some serious negativities that took place. Today started out just fine, i was a little late in getting up, but i thought i had plenty of time to get done what was needed. I went into the kitchen turned on Rachel Ray and started my dishes and some chicken on the stove (i haven't gotten a chance to eat said chicken so i don't know if it is tasty or not, but i sauted habanaero peppers and pineapple with tequila until it turned into a beautiful caramel glaze and the chicken was a golden brown - mmmmm). Anyways after this was done I was heading out to see "my boys" and make sure they were comfy in the chilly air when i saw that i had missed a text asking me to make a milk run for the shop. Crunched my time a bit and i was running about 1/2 hour late. Mom and I had a bit of a tiff, of which I am sorry. But that was the first mocha downed, oh so much better. And to make the hectic day even more so the cycle of life decided today was the day she was planning a visit. Which did not help the emotional train at all. ah but the mocha did help so very much :-). As the afternoon went on the shop was BUSY which was great!!! but i hadn't eaten anything since my blueberry muffin at 8 am so at about 4:30 down went the second mocha. At about 5 i found out that my horses board was going up and care was going down, so i was furious, i vented to a friend via e-mail, the shop continued to be slammed (again wonderful) a couple of good friends came in to visit and we talked horses and life for 15 min or so and then a third rush for the day started and so still nothing to eat. It is now 8:30 and i am just sitting down to vent and eat my first full meal of the day. And though now i have been closed for half an hour I still have a mostly full house and it would appear to remain that way for at least til 9, meaning that i won't get home until 10. So as complete exhaustion sets in I am greatful for my mother who brought me food for dinner, my father who came and helped me with the dishes, my friends who have let me vent, given me ideas, and given me hope. I am grateful for the customers who will help me pay my mortgage this month. But above all I am thankful for that little goat who danced on a hill, and whoever decided coffee was better with chocolate, to them I applaud for helping me get through a hectic day!!!

I found the house I want!!!

The only problem is it is $5.9 MILLION!!!!! But a girl can dream right?? :-)

60+ Acres in CT, 11k+ sq ft. , 8 stall barn and what a view!!! I definitely think I could get used to all that space!WHAT A VIEW!

A ROUND ON THE HOUSE!

LOOK AT ALL THAT IVY!!!

POOL PARTY ANYONE??

HERE'S THE BARN :-)
I THINK NAKIMA WOULD LIKE HER NEW BACKYARD!

UMM, YEP I WOULD DEFINITELY ENJOY COMING HOME!

I CAN SEE "THE BOYS" LIKING THERE NEW HOUSE TOO!

My New Horse Mark!!