it is a soul mate?

The cutest thing happened at the shop today. One of my customers who has been coming into the shop regularly since we opened came in and said, "Becca, have you ever met a person who within an instant you knew was somehow going to change your life? I met that someone." He being a exceptionally smart, analytical, emotions under control guy was feeling out of sorts because he couldn't stop the grin on his face. He was giggling and smiling, it was adorable. He said he felt like a girl but he couldn't help it, she just makes him so happy, that they have a ton in common and can talk about anything, he kept checking his phone to see if she texted.

Some of my customers I really get to know, they open up and let me in their lives, this guy is one of them. I was so happy to see him have some true unadulterated happiness in his life. It made me think if the people in my life. And it made me think about other people and the people in their lives. Some of us find our soul mates, some of us never look, some of us get tricked, and some of us just don't believe. For this guy's sake I hope he found her. He deserves it. We all do.

it is life

Over the weekend we threw a surprise party for my sister who is moving out of state. Old family friends gathered around an impressive display of baked ziti. As I was talking to my Aunts and Uncles I began thinking of things in their lives that had brought them to this point. Every single one of them has done different things, been involved in different groups, lived different lives. But everyone of them is here. Most of our group of friends here is KC came out a church/cult that was controlling and demeaning and manipulative. We have all been out for about 10 years. In those 10 years we have all learned to think for ourselves, decide what is to be controlled and what is not, and how to spot manipulation a mile away and most importantly how to live life in a good healthy way and how to enjoy it.

While I was working at my little shop yesterday I was looking around at the people filing through. Some in their 50's have learned fewer lessons on life than some of my customers in their 20's, and they have no idea. Some of these older and supposedly wiser people are in fact being controlled manipulated and toyed with and are completely clueless or actually happy to be so.

I was listening to a conversation between two and was struck with the observation that these two thought they were going to save the world, when in fact they were barely capable of showing in the morning let alone running their households full of children. (Which bring another question to mind, why is it that when some hippie who wants to save the world decides the first thing to do to go about it is to stop showering and wear patchouli oil?)

I find it amazing and fascinating to see how people's life pattern is woven, which lessons they learn, which they do not, how people can go through life being dictated to and how some people host their own revolution to get out from under the thumb of society, how some people are happy with what is handed them and how some take what is handed them and use it to improve their future. I am amazed how two people can watch the same film and be struck in two entirely different ways as dictated by their life's experiences. I am surprised that people so often and so willingly allow people to rule over them in the smallest of ways. I often wonder where I will be in 10, 20, 30 years? How will I have changed? What lessons will I have learned? Which lessons will I be oblivious to? And what will I still be learning?

If you were to ask my 20 year old father where he thought life would lead him, I could guarantee he would not guess rightly.

it is a chance

I was catching up on my tv via the interweb (a fantastic idea for all of us workaholics who don't get to watch their favorites shows when they are actually on) and the episode of CSI: NY was about taking chances. I have been learning a bit myself about taking risks. I am not one who goes around looking for change. I like my life moving at a calm well thought out pace where if decisions are going to have to be made I have weighed pros and cons and come to the best decision I can at that given time. Last week I decided to take a chance, not sure why but an incredible surge of bravery overtook my mind and I jumped. Now the aftermath of that jump has been good, but there are still several unanswered questions looming into the future. And being the person who doesn't like change and likes answers better than she likes questions the nervous energy in my stomach won't dissipate. However I will say this, I am glad I took that little leap, I am glad I had a moment of bravery because if I hadn't I would always wonder what if I had. So now whatever the outcome may be I know that I did my best, I did what I could and I pray to God it works out in the end.

it is snow, again

On this day, the first day of spring, Kansas City received 6 inches of snow. All day at work I heard people complaining about it, oh it is so cold yadda yadda yadda. As I am sure many of you know already, I happen to love snow. but that is all besides the point. This week has been rather hectic, more so emotionally than physically, in a good way, but still hectic. As I was driving home tonight I was listening to Norah Jones' "Back to Manhattan" I was driving slowly because the roads had not been plowed in a while, I was watching the snow fall, dancing to the slow song playing through the stereo. I felt a moment of calm, of peace, I took a deep breath, looked at the trees in the street lights and the snow glistening on the roof tops. It may have been colder than most people wanted today on this day, the first day of spring, but it brought me a moment of peace and for that I am grateful.

it is the ancient future

As I am walking throught Barnes and Nobel I am astounded by the amount of books in print. I am presently reading a book of collective works by the early church fathers. Before each section the editor give you a breif history of the paper, the author abd where it was found, in what condition etc etc. Very little of what they had then (1st and 2nd Century) survived til this present day, famine, plague, fire and the like destroyed much of what they held important. There is much we do not, an will never know. As I am here a thought crossed my mind, what will be left when we ourselves become the ancient culture that future cultures study? How much of what we produce now will be left to tell our story? And wouldn't it be sad if "Sense and Sensibility and Seamonsters" survives and "Sense and Sensibility"did not?


-- Posted From My iPhone so please excuse the typos!

It is music and me

I found myself reflecting the other day about what kinds of music I listen to, or sing. I am quite ecletic in my music selection but each genre has it's own spot in my life. (I must warn you all this blog is rather piontless and your time might be better spent elswhere.)


When I feel like life is rather depressing or hard I listen to country. When I feel lonely I sing French jazz. When I am especially romantic I sing Norah Jones or Cole Porter. When I am angry I love cranking up some Blink 182. When I am needing to find peace Jane Monheit normally does the trick. Contemplation brings out Cold Play, nostalgia Ingrid Michaelson, inspiration film scores, peace Puccini. I do love music and music does touch the soul like nothing else can.


-- Posted From My iPhone so please excuse the typos!

It is a book

I have had a stressful week (I feel like I say this an awful lot and have recently been contemplating going back to my solitary introversion to avoid dealing with people and their personalities that cause much of my stress). But I am reading a wonderful book, I Capture the Castle, by Dodie Smith. It is wonderfully written and draws me in so much to the tale, this book has been a great diversion to the week. I hope that all of you have fantastic pieces of literature to keep you occupied, to help you through stressful days, to teach you, to let you expirience things that you might not otherwise have a chance to. Never underestimate a good book!







-- Posted From My iPhone so please excuse the typos!

Leggs

Young QH mare, about 15.1hh. Sweet heart!! Very quiet temperament, loves attention. Needs a new home with a job. Hasn't been ridden too recently. Getting the word out for a friend of mine. I have known her for almost a year and she has had no health problems. Just had wolf-teeth pulled in the past couple of months. UTD on shots, coggins, farrier. Planning on putting her in the round pen tomorrow to see how she goes. More info and hopefully video to come. $500.

it is late and i've had some brandy

Why won't men be men? Why is it that so often men fall short of any sort of gentlemanly conduct. The other day I was sick, walking out the door with several bags of trash into 20 degree weather when a male friend of mine stops says something random to me and then promptly watches me and my heavy burden troop out to the dumpster. How frustrating? Yes I was completely capable of doing so but he should have assisted at least held the door. I know I go on this rant often but it is something I am constantly faced with. Men refuse to be men. They seem to have forgotten that they are the stronger protectors of the human race, whilst we women are still the fairer sex even if we have come into our own in the work force.

I was told the other day, for at least the 20th time. that I am an intimidating person. I don't know why. Just because I have the guts to stand on my own two feet? Just because I am not afraid to speak my mind? Because I am not afraid of who I am?

My dearest friend and I were discussing feisty women found in literature tonight, Elizabeth Bennett, Jane Eyre, Amelia Peabody, and we were trying to decide if these women who are beloved by women were beloved by men. These characters that we hold dear and that we see parallels in our own personalities, are they at all liked by men? Or are they held in distaste? Is it wrong that we are feisty strong women? Should we be sweet doe eyed damsels in distress, waiting for our knights to come save us? Or is it alright that we can pick up a sword and defend ourselves against our foes? It doesn't mean that we do not need help. I am the first to admit I need assistance in all sorts of matters. Just because I can and will pick up that sword and defend myself does not mean I want to do it on my own, nor does it mean I do not want a man to do it for me.

This whole discussion came about because there is an issue with boys asking me out indirectly. They skirt around the point, they hem they haw. They do not say Would you like to go out with me to my face in a direct and clear sentence. Why is that? A boy said to me the other day "Why is it the guy has to ask the girl?" I told him it is because it is a way to show your strength and your courage, it is a way for the woman to know she is admired and worth taking a chance on. We no longer ask to have duels fought to defend our honor or win our hands. There are no dragons to slay or warlords to overthrow. All they have to do is take that risk of being rejected, take that risk of failing. Show that you care enough to take that risk.

And please help your friend with the trash, it means nothing more than a kind gesture. I promise not to read into it and think you are madly in love with me. I just really don't always want to do everything on my own.